(1920’s)
Wings
Sunrise
The Broadway Melody

(1930’s)
All Quiet on the Western Front
Cimarron
Grand Hotel
Cavalcade
It Happened One Night
Mutiny on the Bounty
The Great Ziegfeld
The Life of Emile Zola
You Can’t Take it With You
Gone With the Wind

(1940’s)
Rebecca
How Green was My Valley
Mrs. Miniver
Casablanca
Going My Way
The Lost Weekend
The Best Years of Our Lives
Gentleman’s Agreement
Hamlet
All The King’s Men

(1950’s)
 All About Eve
An American in Paris
The Greatest Show on Earth
From Here to Eternity
On The Waterfront
Marty
Around the World in Eighty Days
The Bridge on the River Kwai
Gigi
Ben-Hur

(1960’s)
The Aparment
West Side Story
Lawrence of Arabia
Tome Jones
My Fair Lady
The Sound of Music
A Man of All Seasons
In the Heart of the Night
Oliver!
Midnight Cowboy

(1970’s)
Patton
The French Connection
The Godfather
The Sting
The Godfather Part II
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Rocky
Annie Hall
The Deer Hunter
Kramer Vs. Kramer

(1980’s)
Ordinary People
Chariots of Fire
Gandhi
Terms of Endearment
Amadeus
Out of Africa
Platoon
The Last Emperor
Rain Man
Driving Miss Daisy

(1990’s)
Dances With Wolves
The Silence of the Lambs
Unforgiven
Schindler’s List
Forrest Gump
Braveheart
The English Patient
Titanic
Shakespeare in Love
American Beauty

(2000’s)
Gladiator
A Beautiful Mind
Chicago
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Million Dollar Baby
Crash
The Departed
No Country for Old Men 

I can’t remember life being more uneventful or meaningless as it is right now. I love summer, and was so looking forward to this one! I had this idea in my mind it was going to be the best time of my life! But it’s been everything but. My friends are broke and boring, I only work one or two miserable shifts a week, I’m dieting so I can’t eat, I never see my sister, I’ve missed every concert I’ve been looking forward to because I have no one to go with, I have no boyfriend and the only prospect (not romeo) has suddenly lost interest, and I’m unhappy. 

Usually I find joy in everything, but lately I can’t find it anywhere. Staying up till five in the morning and listening to music and watching adult swim use to be one of my favorite things to do! But now it’s only because I can’t sleep. I use to be totally ok with sleeping in until two, but now I feel lazy and worthless. I even like cleaning my room and doing laundry, because it means I stay busy and I’m getting organized. But now I don’t like doing that either :/

I wonder if it’s my diet? That’s the only thing I can think that has changed. Maybe the lack of foods I love has made me grumpy, and I’m just starting to realize it? Food is good for the soul! Having a gigantic bowl of cinnamon toast crunch could possibly be one of the most amazing small pleasures in life! And denying myself that (and many other things) might be making me upset. I can’t stop now though, california is in 27 days! I just need to get through this, and I hope then things will get better.

I’ve got some fun things planned for the coming month as well, so hopefully that will make it feel more like summer. The Mile HIgh Music Festival is in a few weeks and I really REALLY want to go! But I can’t find anyone else (that I like) who’s going :/ story of my life when it comes to concerts. It be nice to have a boyfriend!!!!! Geez. California is in a few weeks as well, and so is the renaissance festival, 4th of July (one of my favorite holidays!), Iowa, some other concerts, my friends’ birthday party (that is going to be HUGE!) and working out (which I just love by the way! *cough* *cough*)

I don’t know… I always wonder if I’m depressed, and if some medication or counseling would help me out? I’ve been depressed in the past, and sometimes I feel it coming back on (like right now) and wish I could just end it once and for all… but would I change if I did?

This summer is going by so fast! I don’t even realize it until something reminds me, like how I haven’t written anything for a month :/
I’ve got lots of things on my mind, but I don’t know where to start. I guess an update of what’s going on would be appropriate?

Romeo and I have started talking again. It was hard at first, but I’ve finally reached the point of not really caring. If he wants to call me to talk, sure, why not? If he doesn’t call me for a month, I don’t really mind that either. I’ve learned to expect nothing, and go with the flow. It’s been a year and half since we’ve seen one another, so we are talking about flying me out to where he is and spending a week together. Not sure if it’s going to work out, but I guess we will see.

I’m still working at the outback, and it’s as lame as ever. The girls and I have gotten close though, which is nice. I even catch myself looking forward to shifts if I’m working with certain people. I’m only getting scheduled twice a week though, and I’m making horrible money. But I’ve only got a month before I’m off to California, so there’s no point in quitting now. Some money is better than no money.

Which brings me to California My best friend and I are leaving in five weeks to spend six days in the sunshine state! Her (extremely wealthy) aunts and grandparents live there, so we are staying with one of them in Newport Beach! I’ve never been to Cali, so I’m really excited. Good thing I started this diet!

Speaking of my diet! I’ve lost 3 pounds! Oh yea, look at me go!!! You have no idea how hard it’s been dragging my ass to the gym and not eating mcdonald’s fries… but I guess it’s worth it.

And the biggest news of all?
I’m going to Colorado State University.
On August 21st, 2008, the world will end as I know it.
And I’m not sure if I feel fine :/ 

Maybe someone could help me understand this…
So, Romeo and I talked. You couldn’t call it talking for the first hour, it was more like me yelling at him. I told him everything on my mind, and then let him say what he wanted to say. To keep some details private I don’t want to talk about what we said… lots of it was hurtful, but it was all truthful which is what we both need.
After 2 hours had passed we ended on ok terms, but I told him I’d have to think about staying his friend. He told me he would respect my choice whatever it was, but that he’d much rather have me in his life, even just as friends. We hung up.
Later that night (or should I say earlier the next day?) at around 4 in the morning I was still up. I had spent most of the time pondering our situation, and trying to find a right answer and a right choice amongst this mess. I finally came to the conclusion that friends was better than nothing, but I’d have to be cautious if we ever became more than that again.
So, I sent him a message over facebook, telling him just that. That I couldn’t see him not being in my life no matter our situation, and that I was willing to forgive him.
GUESS WHAT?
Now three days after our initial talk and sending that message, I have yet to hear back from him.
I don’t even know what to think of this… It’s funny how your imagination runs wild when you have no answers. After not hearing from him for a day i sent him a text asking him if he got my message (you can miss it sometimes on facebook) and he never responded to that either. 
I feel like an absolute fool…
:[
… now what?

(Day 3) on my diet. I got to work out last night at 24 hour fitness for the first time, but I wasn’t too happy with it. It was loud which kept me from hearing my own music, and there were a bunch of creepy buff dudes checking me out… at one in the morning :p Besides that, I’ve done really well my first three days, and I hope to go a good week before giving myself a break. I would have worked out tonight, but I crashed on the couch an hour ago, and now Im almost too tired to even write this. My arms are sore from weights which is a good sign, but I hate the feeling.

Thanks for stopping by, by the way! I’ve been getting a lot of views and it’s nice to know people might be reading what I’m ranting about! Please, leave a comment! I’d enjoy them

-Confused as hell

I want nothing to do with him… but I want to see him.
I can’t forgive him… but I want things to be good again.
I don’t trust him… yet I listen to every word he says.
I can’t be his friend… because I want us to be more.

Fuck.
I have no idea what to do. 

(day 1) First real day of my diet and it went pretty well. No time to work out, but I’m proud of myself because my friends went to both chipotle AND sonic, and I didn’t get shit at either :] 

“I will love you forever.”
I think the goal in love should be as simple as that; to find someone who will love you forever. But unlike the movies, nothing is ever that simple… or romantic.
A few months ago a guy I was involved with did the unthinkable, but not surprising with his track record. He begged for the girl back whom he swore and promised to me he no longer cared about. He swooned and tricked my heart for three months, only to break it (once again). 
I’ll give you a quick background on this guy, and our situation. I met him three years ago during the summer of my freshman year, in the town where my dad lived. He was cute and outgoing, and I was the “girl from Colorado.” He was dating the same girl then that he wants back now, so we spent our time playing soccer in my backyard and watching star wars. I went back home, he found out that his girlfriend cheated on him, and we started a long distance relationship. Four months went by until we saw each other again over winter break; a perfect four days that I will never forget.
But when things get good, they tend to get tough.  The distance seemed farther than ever, and we both started to worry. He started flirting with (lets call her Pattie) Pattie again, and I found a potential boyfriend. He didn’t know what he wanted, and all I wanted was the truth. Our plans to see each other over spring break fell through, and I started to date my potential. I could tell (lets call him Romeo) Romeo was upset and he took it hard. He convinced me to break up with my boyfriend and come out to my dad’s town to see him for the summer. I did, and when I got there he told me he was dating Pattie again. 
I spent half that summer as a hermit in my father’s house, dwelling in my first heartbreak. I came back to Colorado with some brand new battle scars, and promising myself I would never forgive Romeo. 
We stayed friends through my junior year, I saw him whenever I was back in town, and we kept a decent relationship alive.
Until this past December, when I decided to call him under the influence, and spill my heart out to him. I caught him on the perfect night; he had just spent it with his sister who likes me, and they had a 2 hour conversation of how “I’m the one for him”. That, plus he had just broken up with Pattie. Things were back to the way they were when we first met, and it was hard keeping my head straight. I fell for it all over again, and got my heart broken the same exact way.
I felt so dumb, and I couldn’t handle talking to him anymore. I told him to leave me alone, and he did. A few months later he called me, I told him to leave me alone, and he did.
And today he tried again, but by sending me a friend request on facebook. I honestly couldn’t believe he had the balls to do it. I just wish I had the balls to deny it. Instead, I told him he had to call me tomorrow so we could talk.  
I honestly don’t know if a third chance is worth it, even if it’s just a chance to be friends. We obviously don’t stick to that very well. I have no idea what his intentions are. And should I even care? Really? If I didn’t let my romantic, stupid inner-girl rule my decisions I would tell him to leave me alone again, and possibly add a “fuck you”. 
I guess we’ll just have to see how this talk goes. I have a feeling by the end of it he’s going to wish he never asked for forgiveness… because all he’ll be getting is a piece of my mind.
Are 3rd chances stupid? The new Sex and the City movie proves no… 
but life is not like the movies.

-ms

Alright so…

      I guess the best way to start out this new blog is by telling you that I am a girl, and my name is Mike. Mike for short, but Michael is my real, official, on my birth certificate, name. No, my parents did not think I was a boy when I was born, they aren’t hippie stoners, and my brother’s name is not Sue.
      To set the record straight, my mom knew a girl in college named Michael and she really liked it. That’s basically it. 
      There is a second and more interesting story though. When I was little my grandpa (or papou) would always tell me that my name translated into Greek (I’m Greek by the way) was a beautiful girl’s name. I can’t tell you if this is true, or just a made-up story a grandfather told his insecure granddaughter. 
      I don’t know if anyone will ever read my blog, so this site is mostly for me. I was introduced to blogging through Xanga a few years ago and recently deleted my account. Now that it’s gone I’ve realized how much I depended on it.
      Before I deleted my blog I read a lot of my old posts, and it was the strangest experience. It was proof of how much had happened and changed in my life, and how much I had grown in that time. It was all there; the drama, the good times, the bad times, the rants, the breakups, the dreams, the family troubles, the random lyrics, and more. When I started my xanga I had no intentions of actually using it. To tell you the truth, the only reason I made one was because a guy I liked had one. But long after that relationship ended, I was still blogging. 
      I hope you do stop by every now and then though, and leave me some much needed advice for. Let me tell you, I’m always in need of it